Yaka Jokes

Yaka Jokes

Here’s a whole bunch of terrible jokes for Yaka in Tomb of Annihilation  

  1. Do we have any druids in the audience? 

    1. Phew. Druidic circles are pointless.

  2. One time I met a cleric who was cursed and couldn't cast Create Water. 

    1. I told him to get well soon.  

  3. When facing a beholder, the only thing we have to fear… 

    1. is sphere itself!

  4. A dwarf and a halfling walk into a bar… 

    1. That's it. The bar for this joke has been set too low.

  5. One time I met a paladin who was so pure he could smell evil.

    1. He called it Divine Scents

  6. What did the foul-mouthed cleric say when he cast banishment the yuan-ti?

    1. I’ve had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!

  7. Paladins will, and barbarians might, but thieves can’t!

  8. Did you hear about the necromancer who wanted to settle down and raise a family? 

    1. He’s not allowed near the graveyard anymore. 

  9. Did you hear about the delicate barefoot divination wizard cursed with really bad breath?  

    1. He’s a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

    2. Ok, ok, that joke was something quite atrocious.  

      1. Aren’t you quite precocious…

  10. How big are giant spiders? 

    1. At least 8 feet

  11. What do you call a blind dinosaur? 

    1. Do-you-think-he-saurus

  12. What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? 

    1. Do-you-think-he-saurus rex

  13. Barbarians are so hot right now.

    1. They’re all the rage

  14. Look at this guy. What are you supposed to be, some kind of fighter or something? Well, I always bet on the fighter in a farting contest.  

    1. They have second wind! 

    2. Haha, Yeah, that joke really stinks.

  15. A commoner walks into a bar

    1. He takes 1d4 bludgeoning damage and falls prone

  16. Did you hear the joke about the giant that was merely average?

    1. I’ll skip it. It’s medi-ogre

  17. What’s the best place to hit the cleric?

    1. In the temple!

  18. Hey, what do you call a halfling with the head of a bull?

    1. Mini-taur

  19. Here’s some advice: Never use divination magic when there’s a puddle of dairy product nearby.

    1. Don’t scry over spilled milk!

  20. What do you call a bad mannered Elven huntsmen who has a cold?

    1. Rude elf the red nosed ranger

  21. In case of an earthquake, go to the place where they keep the horses.

    1. It’s stable!  

      1. C’mon, you didn’t like that one either? 

      2. Horse jokes score very well according to the latest Gallop poll

  22. Why did the wizard bury her notes in the family tomb?

    1. To make sure they were encrypted

  23. Why do clerics wear chain mail?

    1. Because it’s holey

  24. You know what I like about halflings? They stick to a routine. 

    1. After all, they are creatures of Hobbit.

  25. A chimney walks into a bar and says, “This one’s on the house.”

    1. What? You didn’t like that one? 

    2. Acererak did. He said it killed.  And if anyone should know…

    3. Whew, tough dungeon. If I had hands I’d tug at my collar.  

    4. It’s like a tomb in here, am I right?  

  26. What did the transmutation wizard get when he crossed an elephant with a rhino?

    1. ‘elif-I-no

  27. Did you hear about the halfling who was pickpocketed?  

    1. How could anyone stoop so low!  

  28. Did you hear the one about the Yuan-ti?  

    1. It’s hiss-terical  

  29. About a month before my grandfather died, we covered his back with lard. After that he went downhill very quickly.

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